Should You Go Out Alone? (Q+A inside)

May the 4th be with you 😎

And now that we’ve got the cheesy joke for the day out of the way, let’s jump into a #RAW Q+A.

(…that your mother probably wouldn’t approve of.)

Let’s get it:

-=–==-#RawDatingAdvice VIP Reader Question-=-=–
My man Patrick!

What’s good man, I know your BUSY w the launch of MPF RE-loaded, so I’ll get to it…

Do you recommend going out to bars/clubs alone? If so what are some keys to dominating the shit out of it.

Thanks man,
Ryah
-=-==-=–=–=-=-=-=–=-==-=-=–=-=-=–

Yo, Ryah. Great question.

I like this question because it’s one of those that most guys have thought about doing, but feared doing for many reasons…

What will people think of you if they find out you went out by yourself?

Who will you talk to so you don’t look like a loser standing by yourself?

Those are the types of question that go through your mind because of your EGO.

You see, your EGO is a dick.

Yeah I said it.

FUCK your ego.

All it does is keeps you from taking action.

It fears what OTHER people think.

And forgets that the only person’s approval that you need is YOURS.

You can even tell when your ego is driving your emotions because it only cares about what OTHERS will think.

…But when YOU are the one driving the emotional switchboard in your head, then you realize that all of that sh!t is nonsense.

Your true self only cares about GROWTH. About becoming the best version of YOU.

That’s it.

So Ryah, just because you are asking me this question, I’m happy for you. Because I can tell that you’re about to have a huge breakthrough.

Some part of you already wants to start going out alone, because you know it’s an amazing GROWTH opportunity for yourself.

Which brings me to my answer for you…

Yes. Dude. If you want to go out, then go out!

Don’t let the fact that you don’t have a “wingman” or any of your friends to go out with you STOP YOU from doing what your actually want to do.

Because I’ll tell you what…. Back in the day, I used to go out by myself all the time.

Not a lot of people know this about me, but before I became the guy delivering #RAWDatingAdvice (that your mother wouldn’t approve of 😎) I was in Dental School…

And in Dental School, you have have 2 of the following 3 things: Good grades, Social life, and Sleep.

All of my “friends” who were also in Dental School chose Sleep, and Good Grades.

But because I was personally BALLS DEEP into the dating scene here in Scottsdale, AZ. I chose Good Grades, and Social Life.

But my “Social Life” consisted of me going out by myself — A LOT.

…Because my actual social circle consisted of other students whose priorities were school, and not becoming a world class dating coach like yours truly.

Here are some of the immediate benefits of forcing yourself to go out alone from time to time…

-Reinforcing your Self-Image of “I do what I want, when I want, and don’t give a F.UCK who joins me.”

-Forcing yourself to step outside of your comfort zone. Where all the best sh!t happens.

-You FORCE yourself to start approaching, and talking to people simply because the only other option is stand there by yourself and look like a loser.

But do you want to know the SECRET?…

When you go out by yourself, NOBODY cares.

In fact, it’s likely that nobody will even notice.

So here’s my tips for you my man…

1. Go out by yourself.

2. Whatever option feels most uncomfortable to you. Do that! Because FEAR is like the compass pointing you to where you need to go.

Run towards your fear. That’s where you grow the most.

So for example, if you go out, and you’re already uncomfortable because you’re by yourself… Your ego is going to kick in and say, “Yo, Ryah, let’s go to some low-key bar where we won’t run into anybody we know…”

F*CK that.

Instead go to the PACKED club, where all the people are, and where your ego is trying to prevent you from going to.

3. Break out of your shell by talking to EVERYBODY. Including dudes.

Talk to hot girls. Talk to ugly girls. Talk to dudes. Talk to couples.

Doesn’t matter.

You don’t even have to “flirt” with them. Just talk to them to break out of your shell.

And when you do this, the best part is you’ll likely start talking to another dude who you vibe with. And BOOM! Just like that, you’ve created a wingman.

…Now it’s like you’re not even by yourself anymore.

4. Approach women, and introduce them to your wingman.

Being the “connector” between people is a little social hack that instantly raises your “social status” in the environment.

5. If any girl you’re talking to says “where are you friends?”…

Either just OWN the fact that you’re out alone.

Or create some funny/epic story about how you left your friend, because he’s a virgin, and he started hitting it off with some girl on the dance floor, so you left the 2 of them alone. And you really hope he doesn’t fuck up, because nobody should be deprived of great sex like your virgin friend has been his whole life.

Haha.

Hope that helps my man.

Let me know how it works out for you. 🙂

Next question…

==-=–==-#RawDatingAdvice VIP Reader Question-=-=–
Hey Patrick

How’s it going man? Just found your site the other week, and love the advice you give, really great stuff.

I saw your video on the importance of affirmations/thought loops, and I was wondering how this relates to living in the moment/being present?

I feel like thought loops take me away from being present, and I think I have heard you quote “the power of now” book in one of your articles. Any chance you can help me out with this some what of a dichotomy?

Thanks Bro!

-Ishan I
-=-==-=–=–=-=-=-=–=-==-=-=–=-=-=—=-

Ishan! Thanks for the kind words, thanks for being a badass, and thanks for bringing up this awesome question…

Here’s why affirmations are great…

Where your focus goes, your energy flows.

The only problem is, MOST people focus on the negative shit that they DON’T want.

And that’s why most people are depressed, lonely, and pathetic.

… And the term “affirmation” is misleading in itself because it implies that most people don’t already have “affirmations” that they’re using regularly.

EVERYBODY already has affirmations.

For example, let’s say you text a girl you like, and she gives you the cold-shoulder…

A lot of guys would start wondering to themselves:

“Why didn’t she text me back?”

“What did I do to her?”

“Does she not like me?”

“Why doesn’t she realize that we’d be so good together?”

“Is she with another guy right now?”

…All these thoughts do is psych yourself out!

But all of those thoughts you get when a girl doesn’t text you back ARE affirmations. They’re just not consciously chosen by YOU.

They’re coming from your Ego, which constantly worries what others think of you.

So here’s why consciously choosing affirmations are GOOD.

The next time a situation arises, that causes you to think shitty thoughts, just flip the ish around by CHOOSING to think:

-“She’s probably nervously asking her friends what to text me back because she’s likes me too much.”

-“She probably feels like I’m out of her league.”

-“Clearly she doesn’t love herself that much if she forgets to text back someone as awesome as myself.”

You see how those thoughts, that you CHOSE, make you feel completely different?

They make you feel awesome, and give you even more momentum going forward.

But back to YOUR question… What about being “present”?

I don’t think affirmations are a good way to become “present”…

But rather, they’re a great way to keep you focused on the RIGHT things. Just like we discussed above.

Two completely different, yet valuable, skills you must develop.

Hope that helps man!

Last question…

==-=–==-#RawDatingAdvice VIP Reader Question-=-=-
Hey Patrick,

I’m a big fan of your YouTube channel and I watch almost every single one . A lot of your videos have helped me in my social life. Keep it up.

I come to you asking for advice. I’m in high school and there are these two girls I really like/want .

I have both of their text/snapchats. I think one of the girls likes me but I don’t know.

I think I might ask one of them out or go somewhere with them.

Do you have any lines or flirting ideas I could use? Or do you have any suggestions that would make them want me?

Sent from my iPhone

-Josh I
-=-==-=–=–=-=-=-=–=-==-=-=–=-=-=—=-=-=

Josh, my man. Thanks for the question dude.

Here’s the thing. You’re in High School…

And I know it might seem like these 2 girls mean everything to you right now, but I’ll tell you the truth…

They’re not.

In fact, in 5 years from now, you’re going to be SO bad*ss, that you’re going to forget you even liked these 2 girls.

And with that said, I bet you’ve heard this advice:

– “Girls want what they can’t have”
– “You got play hard to get”

And the advice is true…When you do it RIGHT.

Unfortunately most guys get this completely wrong.

And just come off as disinterested, gay, or too shy to make a move.

Or worse, they completely eliminate themselves from her radar.

I’m sure you’ve heard the expression:

“If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it… did it make a sound?”

Well, that is sort of how I view most guys attempts at playing hard to get.

You can play hard to get all you want, but if she doesn’t notice you, or isn’t paying attention to you…

It’s all for NOTHING.

Let me explain what one of my friend dating coach friends, Bobby considers the ultimate secret to playing hard to get… and the ultimate secret to making a girl fall in love with you.

(and THIS WORKS even if she wasn’t that attracted to you to begin with.)

Here it is…

She MUST think about YOU when you’re not around.

Pretty simple.

The more she thinks about you (good or bad)… the more she starts to anticipate seeing you.

And its up to YOU to give her things to think about.

Things to analyze and obsess over.

Things to keep YOU on her mind.

How do you do this?

That’s what Bobby explains in this video explains.

Fortunately, there is an odd, but extremely effective “Mind Game” you can use on a girl that will completely take control of her thoughts and have her obsessively thinking about you.

Its called The Scrambler, he’ll teach it to you in the video.

Want to Jump Start “the Chase”? (use the right bait)

In the video you’ll learn powerful ways to…

– Make a girl think about you constantly (even become obsessed)
– Have her eagerly anticipate seeing you
– Have her fantasizing about sleeping with you

==> Click here to discover the “Scrambler” now…

On that note, I’m out!

Got a NEW book to write.

A workout to crush.

A client’s life to change.

…You know. The usual.

Peace out, playa!

-Patrick “Is Your Mind Blown?” James

P.S. The Scrambler WORKS dude…

I remember the first time I fell HARD for a girl… It was because she (unknowingly) was using the scrambler on ME…

How awesome would it be to have girls obsessing over you so much when you’re not around, that they almost convince themselves that you two are meant to be…

That’s the power of this.

Check it out –> Click here to discover the “Scrambler” now…