What To Do When She Doesn’t Text You Back… (San Diego Story)

Let’s talk today about one of the most important things you can possibly do to live an amazing life.

A life where you have great energy that magnetically attracts people to you.

A life where you attract women by the person you ARE.

No “game” needed.

And that ONE thing is your self talk.

How do you talk you yourself?

The way you talk to yourself determines EVERYTHING.

Your state.

Your presence.

The impression you make on other people.

Your success with WOMEN.

Here’s an example…

When most men get “rejected” by a girl, they get dejected.

They start to look inward and think things like:

“What did I do wrong?”

“Why didn’t she like me?”

Or even worse, “I knew she’d reject me.”

And that’s if they even have the COURAGE to talk to her in the first place…

A lot of times, guys will talk themselves out of approaching a girl they find interesting because they think things like:

“I can’t talk to her, she probably has a boyfriend.”

“I’m nobody special, why would this person talk to me.”

“I’m too short/tall/overweight/asian/etc. for that girl to want me.”

All are BULLSH!T excuses!

Remember this quote:

“The world will always tend to accept whatever judgement you place on yourself.” -Chin Ning Chu

The simplest way to change your self image is to become a master re-framer.

Reframe absolutely EVERYTHING into a positive light.

In fact get rid of the word “rejection” all together.

There is no “rejection” there is only reference.

If a girl doesn’t text you back, it’s not because she doesn’t want you… It’s because she’s so nervous about texting you that she didn’t know what to say! (RE-FRAME)

Dude, do you realize that guys spend so much time worrying about “What to say” and “What to text” that we forget WOMEN THINK THE SAME THINGS TOO?…

Actually I’m gonna completely change the topic here, because I think this is a great re-frame to leave you on…

When us guys have a date go bad, for whatever reason we tend to think that it was something that WE did.

When we approach a girl, and it’s really awkward, our first instinct is to think “Wow, that approach went bad. What did I do wrong?”

But we forget to think that GIRLS ARE PEOPLE TOO.

They eat.

They burp.

They sh!t.

And they can sure as hell have TERRIBLE Lady “Game”.

If you approach a girl, and the entire conversation is really awkward…

Sometimes (a lot of times) it’s not because you did anything wrong… It’s because she’s just an awkward person.


That’s not a “Re-frame”. That’s the #RAW truth.

Women can have terrible “game” too.

So it’s on you to realize that YOU’RE the badass here…

You’re the guy who constantly improves and invests in himself and his “game” development.

Any girl would be LUCKY to get to know you.


A few weeks ago I went to San Diego California, and I met this awesome girl…

(If you remember my newsletter from a few in SD. This was the night after my shenanigans with the NFL Cheerleader.)

I met this really sexy middle eastern girl on the dance floor.

We danced.

We talked.

I lead.

We connected.

And the night ended with us going back to my place, having some conversation, but here’s the catch…

I didn’t hook up with her. Heck, I didn’t even kiss her.

For some reason, she was just the kind of girl who was really uncomfortable with physical contact from guys she just met.

Is that my fault?

Is that MY problem?


In fact, I know it wasn’t my problem because I’ve been in the same position with 100’s of other girls, and hooked up with all of them.

Each girl is different. And this one simply didn’t like to be touched by guys she doesn’t know that well.

…Maybe it’s because she’s had sexual trauma in the past. Who knows…

So here’s how the night went down…

We went back to my place and simply TALKED… For hours… Until the sun came up.

I told her I was a dating coach, in town for a large conference.

She was intrigued.

I came to find out she’s had some terrible relationships with men in the past.

She opened up to me.

I gave her some #RAWDatingAdvice that changed her life.

Then I gave her my number.

Told her to “text me, and let’s meet up for lunch tomorrow because I’m flying back to AZ tomorrow night.”

She gave me her phone, I typed in my number, and guess what….

The next day she never texted me.


Most guys would start to think… “What did I do wrong?”

“What could I have done differently?”

“Why didn’t she like me?”

Blah blah blah.

But here’s the thing…

I woke up this morning RIGHT BEFORE TYPING THIS EMAIL. To a text…

From THAT girl.

Here’s what it said:


Turns out she didn’t text me because she was “busy”

(In my honest opinion, I think she felt like I was out of her league because of all the mind-blowing life/dating advice I gave her that night…)

So what’s the moral of this story?

Sometimes, it’s not you. It’s her.

Women can have bad “game” too.

Quit putting the blame on yourself when things don’t go the way you want.

Go with the flow. Read the girl. Read the situation. And lead from there.

Who knows, this girl could very well be another addition to the many hot girls in my social circle…

Or she could be an awesome girlfriend I have in the future…

Either way, I’m not a story finisher. I just write my story along the way.

… And this story isn’t about me and a girl I met that one time I went to San Diego. It’s about me and the IMPACT I’m making on the motherf***ing globe.

So that’s what I’m going to worry about from here.

Trust the process.

Continue to learn every day.

Continue to invest in yourself several times per month.

Continue to be a bada** motherf***er.

And I’ll see you tomorrow.


-Patrick “Always Speaks The #RAW Truth” James

P.S. What is your legacy on this world, in this life?

Does that one girl who didn’t text you back, or that one date that went bad have any impact on that GINORMOUS mission you have in life?

Will it even matter 5 years from now?

Stop worrying about the things outside of your control.

And definitely stop worrying about things that truly don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

You’re a badass.

Worry about how you can continue to let the world recognize you for that.