Hate the “Friend-Zone” too? Here’s how to avoid it FOREVER… (Q+A Inside)

Yo! So the other day I sent out a question to Swagger Social Daily VIP Subscribers…

The question was “What’s the biggest challenge or frustration you’re having with dating the women you actually want right now?”

In this email, I’m going to address some of the responses that were submitted to that question.

Let’s get it…

=====Swagger Social VIP Member======
“The biggest challenge or frustration with dating women is making them laugh and keeping them interested in the conversation.”

-Paul Jr.

Thanks for the submission Paul.

A couple of thoughts, and each one is about to BLOW YOUR MIND.

They definitely blew my mind when I first realized them…

… Because they INSTANTLY flip on her attraction for you like a friggin’ lightswitch…

First off, you should never go into ANY conversation with a girl thinking “I want to make her laugh, and keep her interested in me.”

Paradigm Shift: You should only act to make YOURSELF laugh in conversation.

This is called being self-entertaining.

I mean let’s just think of this logically dude…

If you are letting her reactions to you dictate how you feel, then SHE is the buyer in this interaction.

She has all the power because you’re seeking HER reaction.

One of the most attractive qualities any man can have is that he doesn’t give a sh!t about her reaction.

Why is this?

Because she no longer has the power in this interaction here.

You’re so SELF-validated that she has no choice but to invest in, and start chasing you.

You want to know how I personally measure the success of conversations with women?

If I have a conversation with any girl, I’m happy if I HAD FUN in the conversation.

Could she make ME laugh?

Did I enjoy HER conversation?

…Or did she bore the hell outta ME?…

When you flip the script in your own head like this, everything changes.

Your frame is stronger.

You’re more charismatic.

And she starts to instantly chase you.

Final thought dude…

Every girl has a filter mechanism when talking to men…

If any guy approaches her, and starts a conversation, she subconsciously is thinking to herself…

“Is this guy cool, or not?
Does he give a shit about my reaction, or not?
Can I control and manipulate this guy, or not?”

And the second she realizes that you truly do not care about her reaction because you are entertaining yourself… Then her eyes light up, and she starts chasing you.

This can often take less than 30 seconds.

Attraction is NOT a choice. And it’s easy once you have the right mindset.

Hope that helps dude.


=====Swagger Social VIP Member======
I’m not dating anyone but I meet so many women I’d like to date but just my luck they’re either married, have a boyfriend or are lesbians! And I can’t date my hot clients! That’s my predicament!

Paul Z.

Paul! Good to hear from ya buddy.

Couple thoughts here as well…

Every hot girl is already f*cking some dude.

No girl is 100% single.

And remember how I said earlier today that “Attraction is NOT a choice”?….

Well it’s not.

And I’ve met PLENTY of married women who’s husband magically disappeared after a few minutes of exposure to yours truly.

So that said, I always take the “I have a boyfriend” phrase with a grain of salt.

Maybe a shaker-full of salt.

Because let’s face it…

Women are timid creatures…Sexual and timid creatures.

And they have to be.

Men are physically strong. Women are physically weak.

So over time, the easiest and least confrontational way that women have learned to turn down men is by saying “I’ve got a boyfriend, sorry.”

And that excuse works almost every time because now she doesn’t have to be mean to you. And you can’t even be mad because if you cause a scene her “boyfriend” might pop out of the woodworks and beat you up!

Now if she’s ACTUALLY married, or “taken” that’s one thing…

And I actually have a whole video about “How To Find Out If She’s Single“…

But for the purposes of this newsletter, let’s go through a quick checklist of what I would think if a girl told me the “excuses” you listed above…

She says: “I’m married. Sorry.”

The first thing I do is I grab her left hand, and look for the ring.

This does a couple of things…

1. I’m breaking the touch-barrier by grabbing her hand — in a playful way, and I’ve probably got a sly smile on my face.

2. We find out if she really is married.

If there’s a ring, just say something like “Well he must be a lucky man. Pleasure to meet you, darling.” As I kiss her hand.

(Lol. I do the whole “pleasure to meet you darling” with the hand kiss because for some reason I think it’s funny to act British from time to time. REMEMBER: Self-entertaining is the KEY.)

If there is not a ring…

Then I tease her for trying to act cool around me…

“Aww that’s so cute that you feel like you have to pretend you married around me. It’s cool. Just be yourself, girl.”

I say this playfully, with a smile on my face.

And YES… I’m fully aware that phrase probably doesn’t make logical sense. BUT attraction is not a logical process.

She won’t be able to resist the fact that you are playful, nonchalant, and just implied that SHE was changing herself to make you think she’s cool.

But what if she says “I have a boyfriend.”?

Then I immediately think to myself, “aww that’s so cute that this girl feels like she has to tell me about her boyfriend – real or fake… She must be into me.”

Because let’s face it dude…

A lot of the time if a girl feels the need to suddenly bring up her “boyfriend” then it’s ONLY because she sees you as a sexual threat.

This is good.

She would never tell a BUM on the street about her boyfriend because he’s not someone she would ever consider f*cking.

So take it as a compliment.

And then be playful/nonreactive to her comment.

Just say “Cool.” and continue on with what you were talking about.

She’ll feel like a weirdo for randomly throwing in the “boyfriend” comment.

And your non-reactiveness will make her wonder if you were even attracted to her in the first place.

A.K.A she’s now thinking of YOU as the buyer in this interaction.

And if she says “I’m a lesbian”…

Then get excited dude.

Threesome opportunity?


=====Swagger Social VIP Member======
“Hey what’s up brotha?,
I think the biggest problem I have is I know how to be Fun/ Challenging with women, I know how to vibe with them and such but I can’t seem to escalate past the Attraction phase. I can’t seem to be able to escalate with girls.”

Thanks in advance,

Ricky! My dude, thanks for writing in.

For those of you reading right now, what Ricky is referring to is the “Attraction” part of the conversation. And what to do next.

This is one of the BIGGEST mistakes that men make when talking to women…

In fact, I used to make this mistake all the time.

Here it is: Trying to build a “connection” with a girl first.

Most men think that it goes Connection –> Attraction

I mean that’s how it goes in the movies right?

And this is why MOST guys get friend-zoned.

To get a girl interested in you, you have to make her attracted first.

In other words, it’s actually Attraction –> Connection

So Ricky, you said that you’re really good at getting Attraction, but you don’t really know where to go from there.

Boy do I remember the days where I had the exact same problem…

Let me guess…

A lot of your conversations with girls probably only last a few minutes, right?

And in those few minutes you’re able to get her laughing really quickly…

Her eyes probably light up within the first minute of talking to her…

Emotions are running high. She’s into you.

But all of the sudden it happens… You realize that the interaction is SO high, that you can’t really go much higher…

And when she realizes that you don’t have much else to say after you “playfully challenge” her, then the conversation quickly fizzles out.

Man I hated this sticking point.

But you know what? I’m excited for you dude. Because…

I’m about to give you a breakthrough.

The next time you get a girl super into you, all I want you to do is follow this formula:

A. “Oh that reminds me about…”

B. Tell ANY quick story about something that pops into your head.

… The time you tripped while running sprints in basketball practice and all the cheerleaders laughed at you…

… The time you went on a date with a jewish girl, and was allergic to her perfume, so you had to go to the E.R….

… The time you were standing in line to use the restroom at the club, and some random chick came up and started grinding on you, and all you could concentrate was NOT letting your stream loose while she was rubbing up on your junk…

Literally any quick story will work. Just make sure you’re entertaining yourself by telling it.

C. “Have you ever had anything like that happen to you?…”

A+B+C = Now you’re connecting with her.

You just shared a personal story, and invited her to chime in with a story of her own.

Now you and her are vibing. And building a Connection on top of that attraction you already built up so quickly.

Hope that helps man!

On that note…

I’ve got a lot more questions that I’m going to be answering in future newsletters.

And let me know…

What was your biggest take-away from todays newsletter?

Do you have any BURNING questions or sticking points that you’re trying to overcome?

Let me know, and you might just see your question answered in the near future.

To your F*CKING success,