How To Have A Closer’s Mentality Like Kobe

Yo, wussup dude?!

Today I’m gonna do something that I haven’t done for a while (for some reason), but always enjoy doing…

And that is a Q+A.

It’s Wednesday, and I want you to be able to take this value and immediately apply it to your life as soon as tonight.

As you may have figured out by now, Patrick James is all about delivering the value that is immediately actionable.

Let’s begin…

Question #1: “I’m starting to realize how huge it is to have that aura of being entitled to all the good shit in life. What are the best ways to truly cultivate that, to where you just believe that you deserve the best? Thanks for the advice pimps.” -Drew A.

Thanks for the question Drew.

Here’s the thing you’ve got to understand about being entitled, and confident…

NOBODY is 100% confident.

Not me. Not you. Not the girl who blew you off. Not even Donald Trump.

Everybody has a little bit of an ego, and where there is ego there is insecurity.

Here’s one of the greatest truths that you can ever hear: Only fools and saints are totally and absolutely secure about themselves.

[Ok maybe Donald Trump does have 100% confidence in himself…]

And I’m assuming that you’re not a fool or a saint, Drew, so the trick is to Fake It Until You Make It.

And if you think about the word “confidence” logically, then you’ll realize that you can never be 100% confident until you’ve actually achieved what your goal is, or you’ve won the race, or you’ve made the game winning shot.

However, up until that moment [and even after the moment is gone] all you can really do is have “certainty”.

Certainty that you WILL achieve what you set out to.

Certainty that you ARE the best person suited for the job.

Certainty that YOU are the fucking man.

And how do you do that?

Through repetition, after repetition, after repetition…

Conscious practice is the way.

Do you know what made Michael Jordan so damn successful?

You see, most people think that what defined MJ was the 22 game winning shots at the buzzer, 6 championship rings, NCAA championship, and closers mentality…

Not at all.

What really made MJ successful was all those days where he woke up at 3 AM to make sure he got to the gym several hours before anyone else.

What really made him successful was the millions of times he practiced and MISSED the exact same shots that made his career so noteworthy.

It was all the stuff behind the scenes.

He knew that he had practiced a lot harder than anyone else in the world, so that when they called on him to hit the game winner, he was absolutely confident in his ability to rise to the occasion.

THAT’S how you cultivate the feeling of confidence, entitlement, and closer’s mentality.

A little personal note…

Most people don’t know this about me, but my entire life up until the age of about 21-22, all I wanted to do was play professional basketball.

Every single day, I’d imagine my competition out there practicing, and it fueled me to work even harder, and practice even longer, because I wanted to have the competitive edge.

But here’s the thing…

Whenever I stepped onto a basketball court with anyone, for absolutely no reason at all I always believed that I was the best player on the floor.

I don’t care who I’m playing against… I have the irrational belief that I am the best.

If I was playing against Kobe Bryant, I’d still believe that I’m gonna win.

To some that sounds completely irrational, but to winners like me, MJ, Kobe, and maybe even you…

That’s how we think. We never accept the possibility that someone will beat us.

We’re either gonna win, or we’re gonna die trying.

It’s Certainty, and it makes all the difference.

Question #2: “What are the things you do to keep making progress on your path?” -Jack P.

Here’s exactly what I do to stay on my path…

First I mindstorm all the things I want to achieve or do in the next 3 months to 1 year.

This entails literally getting out a sheet of paper and for about 10-15 minutes listing everything I that comes to mind.

After that I choose the top 3 that I want.

Then at the top of a new sheet of paper, I write “How can I achieve (insert one of those goals)?”

Then I list off every idea that comes to mind on how I can actually achieve that goal, for like a solid 10 minutes. Every idea.

Then I go back through that list and choose the top 3 things that will get me to that goal.

The reason I do that is because of something called the Pareto Principle, which states “80% of your results will come from 20% of your actions.”

So even though you now have an entire list of ideas to achieve your goal, I want you to only pick the top 3 ideas that you can do and will get you there.

Then I map out how I’m going to take action on those 3 things everyday for the next ~10 days to 1 month to implement those things.

Then before I do anything else, I always take immediate action on one of those 3 things.

So for example, if I were doing this exercise I wouldn’t do it and then go make a sandwich… I’d do it, find my 3 things, and then immediately do one of those 3 things.

When you do that, you’re literally showing your brain, “I am serious about this, I want this now, and I’m not gonna put it off until later.”

You’ll boost your state. Boost your self-esteem. And you’ll achieve your vision even quicker.

For more on this, I highly recommend reading “No Excuses: The Power of Self-discipline” by Brian Tracy

Alright, now let’s get in a social tip…

Question #3: “I find it difficult to see girls pupils dilate especially when they’re Asian or have dark brown eyes. Any tips for other IOIs or how to see it clearer?” -Eddie R.

Eddie. My man. Dude. Bro.

Quit looking for “IOI’s”

First off, when you use terms like “IOI” then you sound awfully nerdy to me.

Like for serious, who truly uses terms like “indicator of interest” in the real world?

Pickup artists, that’s who.

And do 99% of guys who do “pickup” actually get laid?

Not at all.

So go back to the first question that we went over, and cultivate some fucking certainty that YOU are the man.

For no rational reason at all, you just assume that she’s attracted to you.

And if she gives you any evidence to the contrary, then you re-frame that shit to think that “She’s just so nervous around you that she hides how she really feels,” or if that’s not the case, “she clearly just hates herself.”

And you do this because the #1 mistake for all guys who are new to social dynamics, charisma, and game is that they are in their heads WAY too much.

So if you are constantly looking for “IOI’s”, then you are not 100% present to the moment, and you are naturally inhibiting your attractive qualities.

When you’re in your head you seem unnatural, fake, and disinterested.

So get out of your head. Quit looking for IOI’s. And start assuming all positive things.

However, before I go, the answer to your question is this…

You don’t look for “dilated pupils”… You look for her eyes having a little more shine in it — if it’s reflecting a little more light than normal… [a direct result of dilated pupils]

Also when women are attracted to someone, they constantly flip their hair behind their ear or shoulder… Biologically they do this because they are exposing their neck to you [which apparently releases pheromones into the air]

So between that extra sine in her eye, constantly flipping her hair back, and assuming all positive things… You should be set my dude.

On that note, got a busy day ahead.

I hope you have a wonderful Friday.

Go crush it man. You deserve this.


P.S. I’m going to be in Miami Florida from May 11-15. Are you gonna be in the area?

If not, do you wish you could spend a weekend with me, and 100’s of sexy women on the beach?

Let me know by shooting an email to