Never Ask Her Out Like This…

Wussup my dude.

So last night was interesting… I was out celebrating all of the action taking that has been going on with the Highlife Tribe by going to a social circle dinner + drinks.

…and at the end of the night I was talking to this girl about life, and everything.

A little backstory on this girl: She is trying to hook me up with her friend.

So anyways, she asks me the question, “Where would you take a girl to dinner if you guys went on a first date?

And my immediate response, “Well first off, I would take a girl for drinks before I took her to dinner…

And right when I said that, shit hit the fan.

This girl got so pissed at me…

OMG, I’m so disappointed in you! I thought you were different, but I guess you’re like every other guy who just wants to sleep with girls on the first date… blah blah blah.

To save you the trouble of reading out a long debate, I’ll just cut to the chase…

She argued that a guy SHOULD take a girl to a fancy dinner because it shows that there was extra effort put into taking her out with you. It shows that you thought about how you were gonna show her a good time.

I argued that a guy SHOULDN’T have to take a girl to a fancy dinner because at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if the guy has the ability/money to wine and dine her, what matters is if you and the guy have chemistry.

Plus when you take a girl to dinner, you’re at a table and forced to sit there in the same spot and talk for an hour, and the service may or may not be shitty, etc.

But here is where her argument got interesting…

Her: “Do you know how many times a girl gets asked out on a date?

Me: “I’m sure like 10x/day.

Her: “Exactly. And 90% of those guys are always asking us to ‘meet out for drinks’… Anytime a guy asks me to dinner, I’ll go because he sticks out from all the other guys.

Me: “Let me ask you a question, when you go to dinner with a guy, don’t lie, do you get a drink?

Her: “Yes.”

Me: “When a guys asks you to dinner, don’t lie, do you eat before hand so you’re not super hungry on the date?

Her: “Yes.”

Me: “Then why not just skip the food altogether? It would be much more fun to go on an adventure, where you start at a cool bar that probably has some games, and then you guys could bounce to a different place without having to wait an hour for food and a waiter.

Her: “Yea, but that’s different. ‘drinks’ sounds boring, and I’ll never meet a guy for that. ‘Adventure where we start at this cool hole-in-the-wall bar that has games, and bounce to another surprise place after’ sounds a lot more fun, and shows effort.

That comment was interesting to me…

You see, this girl was NOT arguing that she hates when men ask her to “drinks” and love when men ask her to “dinner”…

The point she was trying to make was that you’ve got to show a little more effort and thought when asking a girl out.

She said that SOO many guys are sending her something like “Hey, let’s meet for drinks.” and those texts tend to get lost in the crowd.

…which is why she prefers “dinner” — because it’s sticks out.

But at the end of the day, she doesn’t really care that much about what the date was, it just has to stick out and be an experience that is not like something any other guy could take her on.

Her argument was that most girls can go to a bar and get drunk any time she wants. And when a guy just asks her out to drinks grab drinks with him, it feels like more of a booty call than a first date.

So what does this mean for you moving forward?

Here are the takeaway and action steps for you, moving forward:

1. A girl doesn’t care what you do for a first date, you just have to show a little bit of effort.

She doesn’t care about expensive and fancy dinners, she just wants an experience.

I still hold the conviction that meeting at a cool bar would be a fun first date because it’s much easier to sit and talk without having to be locked-in to one spot because you have to wait on the waiter.

However, when you ask the girl out, if you say something like “Let’s meet for drinks @ 7” she’ll most likely ignore your text.

It’s much more effective to say something like “Meet me at this cool little spot called ____, that I’ve been dying to go to. They’ve got all these cool bar games which I’m totally gonna beat you at. It’ll be a romantic adventure – Let me know :]

Even though it might be the same plan for the date, it’ll sound a lot more fun to her, and she’ll be a fool to not want to go on that adventure.

It’s ok to play it up, and make the date sound fun… Often times, that’s how you’re going to stick out above all the other guys asking her out.

2. Girls are bored man!

Any time she goes on a date with a man, she is stepping out of her normal routine. However she’s not gonna willingly do that unless it sounds like a good time.

Unfortunately most guys think that to show her a unique time, they have to spend several hundred dollars on some fancy date…

Absolutely not.

The best first dates, and the ones that sound the funnest to her, are ones that sound like an adventure.

It’s perfectly acceptable to meet her out for drinks, but you’ve got to let her know that it’ll be a fun experience/adventure, or else she’ll pass it up every time.

This is simple, just do a little research and choose a cool spot, that has an interesting activity, or cool vibe to it.

She doesn’t want to know that you have money, she just want to know that she can have fun with you.

3. How can you turn a simple drink into an experience?

Plan out a second location.

When you take her to dinner, then you’re stuck in one place for however long the service takes.

However when you meet at a cool little bar, then you can bond over a drink or two, and then after 30 minutes bounce to the second location.

This can be as simple as going on a walk down the street to an ice cream shop.

The only requirement I have for any date that you may plan… It has to be something that YOU would actually have fun doing.

She is following your lead dude! So show her a good time, by having a good time yourself, first.

If you have a really cool hobby, show her a little bit of that side of you…

For example, if you love to surf… take her surfing.

If you love music… take her to a music festival.

If you love to sing… take her out for karaoke.

Either way, all she cares about is having a good time, and getting a sneak peak at who YOU are.

On that note, I’m outta here.

-Patrick

P.S. This is why you must never take advice on dating from a woman… She is going to speak to you in womanese, and it really takes someone with a lot of experience, and conviction in their beliefs to decode what she’s saying.

My argument with this girl was a perfect example… She was explicitly telling me that a man should wine and dine a girl with a fancy dinner.

But what she REALLY meant was “Women love when a man can show her a great time, that she wouldn’t be able to have on her own, or with every other guy.

Truth is, dates don’t have to cost an arm and a leg, nor do they have to involve food. She just wants a good time, and a look inside who you are.

Boom.

Have a kick-ass day!