Are you on your phone?

Hey dude,

Have I told you about the thing I used to do all the time, that was solely responsible for me being socially awkward up until my early 20’s, yet?

Just in case I haven’t, let me tell you right now because this intel is life changing, and once you learn the power this mistake holds in it…

You’re Charisma will have no choice but to go Superman on them hoes.

Dude, the first time I realized this was on New Years Eve 2009. I was a college freshman in my home state of KS.

I actually headed to this ginormous party, that was bound to have many horny college coeds, and plenty of alcohol to loosen everybody up.

And the party started off just like any normal party was supposed to… a bunch of guys sitting around drinking beer, until about 9 PM when chicks started to roll in, one by one.

Each carrying their fair share of vodka, champagne, four lokos, and New Years Eve attire.

Here’s the thing that blew my 18 year old mind: These weren’t your average college girls. These were easily the hottest girls in town.

Had I hit the Jackpot?

When this happened the drinking game that we were playing quickly got broken up, as every guy dispersed and started chatting up all the different girls that just arrived.

What do you think I did though?

I’ll give you a hint… I pulled out my phone, and I looked at the time.

Then put my phone back in my pocket.

Then went and got a shot of vodka.

Then pulled out my phone again and texted my other buddies, “Where you at?”

Then put my phone back in my pocket.

Then walked into the next room.

Then grabbed a beer.

Then avoided making eye contact with any attractive girl.

Then oh yea, I pulled my phone out again to look at the time.

I’m not joking when I say this. That was basically the story of my entire night.

Drinking, and looking at my phone.

Might I add that my best friend, whom I had shown up to the party with, was MIA for most of the night.

The next morning, when I finally found him, we recounted everything that happened to us the night before.

I told him, “Oh, yea.. I mean the party was cool. I got pretty drunk. How was your night?

His reply, “Dude! That was the most epic party I’ve ever been to.

My friend had spent the entire night banging different girls.

He said before midnight he had already hooked up with 3 girls. All in the same room. At different times.

I just picture Hugh Hefner sitting on his bed, and saying “Bring in the next one.”

Want to know the key difference between me and my friend that night?

His phone had died the minute we showed up to the party…

He set his phone in the bag that he brought, and didn’t even bother looking at it for the rest of the night.

Me on the other hand… I used my phone to mentally escape having to socialize, and actually have fun at the party.

I had probably looked at my phone over 100 times that night.

Actually, I vividly remember a cute girl walked up to me right before midnight, asked me a question, and I literally said “Hold on, I’m trying to figure out how to send this text real quick.

[Pretty easy to guess that she didn’t stick around for very long.]

So what is the moral of this tragic story that I had to dig up from a very different version of myself?

A story that I have since coined “The New Years that never happened

The moral is that I was using my phone as a crutch to keep myself occupied every time I felt uncomfortable.

Up until the moment all those girls walked in, I was completely present, and having a great time.

But as soon as a lot of people started showing up, I escaped into my own head.

Somewhere in my logic, I thought that if I kept looking at my phone, others would conclude “Hey, this guy must be cool because he keeps receiving all of these important text messages.

Truth is, nobody cared that I was on my phone, and I missed out on all the fun that night.

From then on, I made a pact with myself that I’d start putting my phone in airplane mode every time I went out.

And the results have spoken for themselves.

My social life, social skills, and Charisma are exponentially better now then they used to be.

Or as the kids say nowwa days, “Social Skills on #fleek tho

Were the results instant?

Absolutely.

Right away, when you force yourself to be social, and completely take your phone out of the game, then something interesting happens…

You start to build up some momentum socially.

You may say something stupid to the first person you talk to…

Then you’ll start to have a conversation with someone else, and you’ll stutter a little bit…

And another person comes up to talk to you, and you guys actually connect on something you have in common…

Then that person introduces you to their friend, and you guys shake hands…

Before you know it, you hit a tipping point, and you are all of the sudden… You’re completely out of your shell.

After this tipping point, the words come naturally, you are not planning out what to say, and you’re in a great/social mood.

This is the equivalent of MJ getting “into the zone” in the 4th quarter.

Once you get “warmed up,” interactions start to have a good flow and rhythm to them.

This is the exact phenomena that my buddy experienced when he was forced to be social because his phone died.

And it’s the exact thing I, myself, have since come to experience.

Now when I go out…

I am completely present to the moment.

Charisma is on command.

And once I get the social momentum ball rolling, I feel unstoppable.

That said, I still always see tons of other guys [and sometimes women] pulling out their phone every 30 seconds, and the nostalgia from my darker days sets in.

The only decision for me is, “Do I go up and inform them of this mistake, or let them find out for themselves?..

On that note, I’ll just say that I let them learn on their own.

[This is because I’ve learned is that advice is only taken well when it is actively sought after…but that’s a story for another day].

So let me ask you now…

Do you pull out your phone a lot in public?

Truth is, you’re probably reading this on your phone right now.

I’ve got a challenge for you.

For the rest of the day, don’t look at your phone at all when you’re in public, and force yourself to talk to people around you.

It’s going to be tough, but I think you’ll like the results.

Catch ya on the flip,

-Patrick

P.S. Been working on Project X lately, and it is beautiful.. I’d probably make love to it if I could.

Stick around man, you’re gonna love this shit.