Lights. Camera. Action… Oh SH!T What Do I Say? [How to get really good, REALLY fast]

 

 

DUDE!

 

I love life.

 

And I love myself.

 

But let’s talk about you.

 

You ever have those moments where you go out, and you don’t really feel like talking to anyone?

 

Like all of your charisma, and social energy is completely shot?

 

I’ll let you in on a secret here, but you have to promise me that you won’t tell anyone…

 

Deal?

 

Alright here it is..

 

I have those moments too! We all do.

 

But the REAL secret you should learn here is that the only way to overcome that feeling of “I don’t really feel like it” is to just get started anyways.

 

Jimmy Fallon, host of the Tonight Show on NBC was asked in an interview, “Do you ever have days where you wake up and think ‘I can’t do the show today!’?

 

[If you didn’t know, the Tonight Show gets filmed fresh every day. Kinda like Social Mastery Daily. 🙂].

 

His response: “Oh, Always.. I have a lot of days where I feel like that all the way up until the curtain opens. But as soon as that curtain opens, and the light hits me, that’s when I think ‘this is exactly where I should be.'”

 

Value Bomb about to drop…

 

Truth is, there are 2 big reasons why people get this feeling:

 

1. Imposture Syndrome.

 

and

 

2. Lack of momentum.

 

These two things are the Best Friends of laziness, and not taking action.

 

The Imposture Syndrome is basically that feeling you get when you think, “Why am I doing this right now? What if people find out that I’m a fraud, and that I’m not worthy?

 

People get this feeling ALL THE TIME.

 

The only way to overcome this feeling is to recognize that YOU are not unique in being the only one who feels this way, then personifying this feeling, and consciously NOT identifying with it.

 

Feelings and emotions are just biological suggestions, not commandments.

 

Getting the Imposture Syndrome is actually a GOOD thing. It means that you’ve been killing it in life up to this point, and you brain finally is taking a few moments to soak up reality. Good job, man.

 

And the next thing, Lack of momentum is what people suffer from the most.

 

If you have been around here for any length of time, then you may have noticed that a lot of what I teach revolves around building up social momentum all day, so that when you go out to that party, bbq, networking event, bar, nightclub, etc.. You don’t have to all of the sudden decide, “Oh shit, I better turn on right now.” because you’ve already been building up momentum ALL DAY.

 

This is why when I walk out of my door for the day, I’ll banter with everybody.

 

I’ll spark a conversation with the old lady next door as I’m walking to my car.

 

I’ll flirt with the cute girl in line at starbucks.

 

I’ll high-five the security guard walking into the mall.

 

I’ll invite my buddy out to lunch.

 

I’ll shoot the shit with the people standing with me in the elevator

 

I’ll be listening to great music all day.

 

And by the time I get to the place I actually need to be “on”, I have already been in-the-zone for a long time.

 

Social Momentum.

 

That being said, every day is a new day.

 

Every morning when I wake up, I don’t feel like doing shit!

 

I just want to hit snooze and lay in bed all day.

 

But I force myself to get my ass up, flip open my macbook pro, and start writing to my team a.k.a. ALL of my Action Taking BAMFs at the Social Highlife.

 

Usually I have no clue what I’m going to write about, but I just start writing, and the words start flowing.

 

By the time I’m 1 maybe 2 paragraphs in, my fingers go on autopilot, and copious amounts of value start appearing on my screen. It’s wonderful.

 

And when I finally hit that BEAUTIFUL “Send” button, I feel like a F*cking BO$$.

 

The only trick was to Get Started!

 

This reminds me.

 

The other night I was out at a local bar with a guy I was coaching.

 

Being a week night during the summer, you never know what kind of crowd might turn up. So we were playing pool and just kinda shaking off the rust for the night.

 

That’s when I spotted a cute little blonde girl sitting all by herself at the bar…

 

SO I said to my client, “Dude, go talk to her.”

 

Being a man with MASSIVE ambition, he instantly gets up, and stands there. Just stands there…

 

Why?

 

He really wanted to go and talk to this girl, and his brain kept telling him “Go over there, ya fuck!” But his feet would not start walking..

 

Why?

 

Because the second he stood up, he started thinking… [*sigh*]

 

THINKING, is the worst thing you can do.

 

He started thinking, “What should I say when I go over there? What if she doesn’t like what I say? How do I transition from the ‘first thing I say’ to an ‘interesting conversation’?

 

The trick is to NOT think, and just DO.

 

So when I saw his head racing, and his feet not moving. I instantly recognized what was happening, and I said to myself “F*ck it.” Then I started walking over there myself.

 

Did I have the perfect thing to say?..

 

After years of doing this sort of thing, did I know exactly what to do, and exactly how she would react to me?..

 

Not at all.

 

I just knew that the only trick was to get started.

 

So on the 15 ft. walk over from where we were to where she was, I purposely was NOT trying to think of what to say.

 

I knew that the second I got over there, and her eyes locked onto mine, I would say something and I would just go from there.

 

I mean what’s the worst that could happen?.. She might not want to talk to me, but either way I just took a MAJOR step in giving myself some momentum socially.

 

So what did I say when I got over there?

 

Well I said easily the CHEESIEST thing I’ve probably said to anybody when approaching them,

 

So do you always sit at bars by yourself and wait for charming young men to come up and talk to you?

 

You know what? She thought it was funny.

 

Why?

 

Because it was the first thing that came to my head when I got there. It was CONGRUENT to how I actually felt in that moment. And she could FEEL the authenticity in the statement.

 

However if I had planned out that same line before going over there, it would have felt less genuine to her AND to me. Thus it wouldn’t have worked.

 

She smiled and said “Actually my friend just left and I wanted to stay and finish my drink for a bit.

 

Then the conversation took off from there..

 

It was at this point where the badass that I was coaching followed my lead, walked over, and I introduced the two of them.. They ended up talking for the rest of the night.

 

Now do you think that he planned the perfect thing to say when he came over?

 

Do you think that he had 3 interesting stories on deck that he was going to tell just in case the conversation hit an awkward silence?

 

Absolutely not.

 

All it took was for him to just walk over and say something. Simple.

 

Listen dude.

 

We have guys here at the Social Highlife from age 20 to age 60.. I can guarantee that in all those years of life experience, you have the capacity to relate any conversational topic to something that has happened in your life.

 

This is how you have interesting conversations with complete strangers, you relate current conversational threads to other topics that the thread reminds you of from your life.

 

It’s super simple.

 

The only thing that makes this hard is when you start thinking about the “perfect thing to talk about.”

 

[All communication between humans is only 7% verbal, and 93% nonverbal, anyways. What you really should be focused on is HOW you say it.]

 

I got a little off topic, so let’s get back on track…

 

So my point is that no matter what your goals are. No matter what your vision for yourself is. Just. Get. Started.

 

As long as you know where you are going, then your servo-mechanism will guide you there.

 

I like to think of it as if I am driving on a dark road..

 

If I have no clue where I want to go then who knows where I’d end up..

 

But the second I decide EXACTLY what it is that I want, and I can picture it in great detail, then my brain starts putting street lights on this dark road.

 

And all of the sudden I can now clearly see the path to the exact place that I want to go. All I have to do is start driving.

 

Cheers to the power of metaphor.

 

Before I get out of here for the day, I’ll leave you with a big lesson about success that I learned from a Success guru, Brian Tracy.

 

“If I know that I have to talk to 10 people to be successful, then I’m going to talk to the first 9 as fast as possible.”

 

If I knew that I’d have to fail 9 times before I succeeded then I’d FAIL as fast as possible.

 

That is the secret to getting really good, really fast.

 

Take Imperfect Action.

 

Chase Failure.

 

Embrace Failure.

 

Learn from Failure.

 

Succeed Faster.

 

I’m out.

 

-Patrick

 

P.S. Check out what a few Social Highlife VIP have been saying lately.

 

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DOOOOOOOPPPPE brother, I just checked out your site,read your

newsletter—- super ‘cool’… totallly got inspired. thnks for sharing.

–Shedley D.

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Badass, Shedley.

Keep F*cking going, and you’ll be at the top in no-time my man.

 

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Love love love the video bro! Insightful. Best video yet and I believe

your advice has a low effort and high reward effect.

–Mike N.

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You’re the man, Mike.

I am not immune to kind words, and flattery.

 

We’re all about practicality, ease of implimentation, and high ROI here at the Social Highlife.

 

Alright, that’s enough ego boosting for the day.

 

P.P.S. Do you know the 3 aspects of the Magnetic Personality Formula?…

 

It’s almost here.