Lesson That Crabs Taught Me About Charisma.. [not what you think]



Dude, what’s up?!


What a WONDERFUL day to deliver some MASSIVE value to the army of BAMFs here at the Social Highlife.


We’re changing the world one step at a time, and today’s post is going to contain probably one of the best Charisma tips that you’ve ever heard…


[¬†that is until I write another post tomorrow ūüôā¬†]


Now do you know what the word “Charisma” means?


Do you know how to pick out the EXACT trait within someone that makes them “Charismatic”?


Here is the truth about “Charisma”… It’s a very general term.


Most people call someone Charismatic when they feel Magnetically drawn to them, and they don’t know why.


This is a very over-encompassing word that collectively describes MANY qualities within someone.


And my MASSIVE.. brain is full of Charismatic knowledge and know-how, that today I feel like giving you one of the most commonly overlooked facts about this mysterious quality.


Now there are many tactics, and strategies that you can employ to become more charismatic..


For example,


charming motherf*ckers are VERY charismatic.


In fact, one of the most charming things you can possibly do is subtly let someone know that you remember their name right after you meet them.


There is a couple of ways that I do this:


1. I’ll repeat their name back to them when they introduce themselves to me.. i.e. “Nice to meet you, Kayla.”


Dale Carnegie had this theory, that I most definitely agree with.. “Your name is the sweetest sound you can hear.”


The fact of the matter is, when someone calls us by our name, and actively shows that they remember us, we feel charmed.


In today’s world, we meet so many new people, so often, that being the¬†one guy who happens to remember people’s names the first time you meet them¬†is RARE – which is why this is so charming.


2. A couple of minutes after the exchange of names, I’ll slip their name into the conversation I’m having with them, or someone around us.


Listen Kayla (girl you just met), I don’t care how cool your dog is. We just met and I’m not emotionally ready to meet him yet, alright. Let’s take this slow..




Or if someone you know walks by, “Hey mike (your friend), meet Kayla (person you just met)!


You can also¬†just end the conversation with the sentence, “Nice talking to you, Kayla (who you just met).”


Trust me on this one..


When you can SUBTLY let someone know that you remember their name, and aren’t like 95% of people out there who forget the name 3 seconds after you guys meet, you will INSTANTLY see their eyes light up like a kids’ on Christmas morning.


Sometimes I refer to these eyes as “Anime eyes.”


But quit distracting me!


Back to the point of todays post.


The Charisma tip I’m about to show you is simply one of the Easiest to employ, and the most Powerful methods you’ll probably learn [and yet the most commonly overlooked].


When people come to me for tips on “How to be more Charismatic” or “How to develop a Magnetic Personality” they are almost always looking for something revolutionary, that nobody has ever told them.


And although my ideas are F*CKING $$$.. I am all about efficiency, and effectiveness.


So you will probably never hear me say¬†anything funky like, “Concentrate on the feeling in the tips of your toes, and you will immediately¬†be overcome with this enlightened feeling of being more ‘present’.


Fuck that noise.


Naw, bro.


I’m all about Practicality. Honesty. And shit that ACTUALLY works.


So here is probably one of the best tips on Charisma that you will ever hear.


Are you ready?


Alright I’ll tell you, but you you have to PROMISE me that you will:


1. Use this for good.


[Like charming the pants off of that sexy girl who keeps eye-fucking you from across the bar. Or making your boss conclude that he would be crazy to not give you a 20% raise in salary. Or Winning over an entire room of people whom you have never met. Cool?]




2. Immediately Take ACTION on this.


Alright without any further ado.


Most Charismatic people are OVER-flowing with Positivity.


Simple, right?


And this isn’t simply feeling like you are in a generally “good mood.”




This is the kind of Positive energy that is just bursting out of the seams, and you can hardly contain it.


Positive energy like this is contagious.


It rubs off on people around you.


And the second they get a whiff of the positivity that is radiating off of you, they HAVE to be around you.


This is like you gave them a hit of the most powerful/most addictive drug known to man kind, and they must be around you so that they can continue to ride the wave of positive emotions that your presence is giving them a taste of.


Those leaches. ūüôā


And the best part is, when you feel this great all day long, then your nonverbals will automatically match your vibe.
You body language will automatically be strong and open.


Your smile will light up the room.


Your vocal tonality will naturally be loud, proud, and confident.


I have 2 tried and proven methods¬†that I’m going to give you to develop this kind of positive energy within yourself, but first… a story.


It involves crabs.


Once upon a time, a man was walking down the ocean side pier with his wife.


After walking for a bit they decided to stop and admire the beautiful oceanside scene.


Right next to where they were standing, the man noticed a fisherman who had a pretty big bucket full of crabs.


But he also noticed that there was absolutely nothing on top of this bucket that was keeping the crabs from escaping to their freedom.


Trying to be a nice guy, the man said to the fisherman, “Hey, do your realize that your crabs could easily escape that bucket? Shouldn’t you put something on top of the bucket?


To the fishermans’ amusement, he just smirks, and says “Just keep watching.


The man then looked at the bucket and noticed that one brave crab was going to do it!..


A crab finally mustered up the courage to climb the side, and make his escape.


He turned to his wife and said, “Honey, look! That crab is going to escape!


And JUST as this crab got his claw over the ledge between his imprisonment, and his freedom…


Every crab in the bucket instantly stuck out their claws, grabbed the escaping crabs’ legs, and yanked him back down into the bucket.




So let me ask you..


Do you have any crabs in your life?


You know, any negative influences, that at the end of the day are just holding you back?..


Well this is my first tip to developing this Magnetic Positivity in yourself.


Take a look at the people in your life, all the daily habits you have, and ask yourself “Which of these things are not helping me move any closer to my life goals/ambitions??


And then CONSCIOUSLY cut those things out of your life.


[Or at least attempt to minimize your time around them if actually cutting them off is not possible. i.e. a family member].


Here is the thing, if something is not helping you, it is holding you back.


Jim Rohn used to say, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”


This applies to everything in your life – not just the people.


You are the average of the 5 things you eat the most of.


You are the average of the 5 biggest habits you have.


The 5 shows you watch the most of.


So if you are always watching the news, and all you hear about is all the wars, murders, car accidents, robberies, and the occasional fluff story thrown in for good measure.. Do you think that it would be pretty hard to keep a positive outlook in your life?


Of course.


SO the FISRT method I have for you is to Cut out the “crabs” in your life.


And REPLACE those crabs with cheerleaders.


People, and influences that will help you.


Make you stronger.


More positive.


More valuable.


More attractive.


Simple as that.


A few suggestions:


Instead of watching the news in the morning, listen to a motivational speaker.


Instead of hanging out with your friends who work at McDonalds, and eat big macs once a day. Hang out with your friends who are super successful, drink green juice, and hit up the gym once a day.


Instead of reading the newspaper while eating breakfast, read Social Mastery Daily.




But let’s be honest.


Cutting out the crabs in your life can be very powerful for your success socially, financially, and in health.


However on a moment to moment basis it can sometimes be tough to maintain that Magnetic Positivity.


So here is an exercise that I discovered one day in college when I could just feel my Charismatic energy waning..


As I was walking back to my shitty college apartment I started to feel stressed. A test I just took didn’t go well. I was sleep deprived. And that is when I discovered one of the most powerful exercises that has solely been responsible for a large majority of my social success.


I call it “Knowing your 3 things.


At any moment, you should always know your 3 things.


So when I am walking down the street, and I feel anything less than “FUCKING fantastic” I will instantly list off 3 things I truly like/are grateful¬†about¬†in the immediate environment, or in my life right now.


So for example, right now I am sitting in my desk and writing a badass newsletter..


My 3 things right this second are:


1. It is a BEAUTIFUL summer day outside, and I¬†can’t fucking wait to go out and read my book while soaking up some rays by the pool.


2. The music that is currently playing in the office has that kind of seductive beat that makes me want to fist pump, smile, and dominate today all at the same time.


3. I love the fact that I have the opportunity to make not only myself, but every badass who reads Social Mastery DAILY, better every single day.


So what are your 3 things?


And this doesn’t just stop with yourself, and your life/environment.


You can train your positivity muscle by doing this anytime someone makes you mad, or when you feel any sort of tension towards someone or something.


For example, any time I feel negatively towards someone, and I can feel it sucking at my positive energy with more enthusiasm than a Vegas club girl ever has, then I’ll immediately list off in my own head 3 things I admire about that person.


For example, I was recently talking with a group of people who decided they wanted to talk about how much they hate someone we all know.


This sort of negativity was destined to suck away at my positive momentum, so I cut into the conversation and instantly named 3 things that, despite all of this persons’ downfalls, I admire about them.


In this particular example, I said, “Hey, maybe I don’t particularly like that person, but I’ve got to admit. He has good style, is ambitious, and is pretty athletic unlike 85% of americans.




Simple, and now I have more positive momentum for me moving forward.


When you are always aware of your 3 things then you train yourself to be the Source of positivity for people around you, and your courage muscle gets ginormous.


It certainly takes A LOT¬†of courage to look negativity in the face and say “F*CK NO!” and then list off 3 positives.


Not to mention, imagine all of that positive momentum you will have if you are doing this all day.


From the second you wake up to the second you go to bed, you have that “Winning Feeling” as the great Dr. Maxwell Maltz would call it.


Imagine building up this momentum all day, and then going out to a party later that night.. How Magnetically drawn to you would people be?


We are all pretty weird in the fact that we prefer to be around the Source of positive emotions.


From now on YOU are that source.


Use this power wisely.


I think that’s my cue.


I’m gonna go dominate today.


MAN I Love life.




P.S.¬†The Private Members’ Area for the Magnetic Personality Formula system is fucking beautiful.


If it were a chick, I’d totally make sweet love to it. But it’s not, so for now I’ll just admire it’s beauty while I put on the finishing touches.


Stick around.. I’m thinking¬†sometime next week.