Are You “Cool”?.. [The Truth That Nobody Tells You]

 

Let me ask you a question Hombre..

 

Do you know what it truly means to be “cool”?

 

A lot of people, myself included, when they hear this infamous buzzword a few people instantly come to mind.. Hank Moody, Fonzie, Ryan Gosling, Robert Downey Jr., James Bond, etc.

 

This is obvious, but let’s talk about HOW to be cool for a sec..

 

When a lot of men hear “Oh, just be cool.” they think of the examples we just listed and instantly start trying to act like them.

 

There are so many things wrong with that statement, let’s get into why..

 

1. When guys “try to act cool” [especially if ‘cool’ is not their natural state at the moment] then they appear try hard.. Not good.

 

There is this phrase that you should keep floating around in that well-endowed brain of yours and it goes,

 

“Try Hard = Die Hard”

 

I first heard this from Greg C. Greenway, and it is one of the many unequivocal truths of this world.

 

Try Hard –> Not natural.

 

When people conclude that you are Try Hard then they also conclude that you must think that your natural self isn’t good enough. Aka not cool.

 

And that brings me to another great point..

 

2. Have you ever heard that “first impressions are hard to change”?..

 

Well in my experience this is not true. I’ve had many people get the wrong first impression of me to only become one of my best friends, or girlfriends, in the near future. So get rid of this belief.

 

The TRUTH is this: “People Do Not Readily Change Something They Conclude On Their Own.”

 

First Impressions are just a feeling we get about someone. CONCLUSIONS are a statement that we tell ourselves about something or someone.

 

When we go far enough as to formulate a CONCLUSION that someone is try hard, that shit will NOT change [at least not as readily as a first impression].

 

3. The reason people can Conclude that you’re not being yourself is because you are not CONGRUENT.

 

Congruence is one of those many things that we are constantly screening people for. Every sentence. Every word.

 

Forget first impressions.

 

In fact congruence, built up over time, is the only thing that will ever change a first impression or a conclusion about someone.

 

So when you act like someone you are not, then it won’t come across as congruent.

 

This is why I HIGHLY recommend that if you want to be seen as “cool” then you must become cool ON THE INSIDE first.

 

There are so many ways we screen others for congruence, and they are all through our non-verbal subcommunications.

 

Things like eye contact, vocal tonality, microexpressions, and how nervous someone appears.

 

Body Language experts know how to consciously read all of these nonverbal cues, however we are all very tuned into this world of nonverbals, we just don’t realize it.

 

Have you ever gotten a certain vibe from someone?

 

Anytime someone makes us feel a certain emotion, or we get a certain vibe from them, it’s simply because our subconscious was able to take in every nonverbal cue this other person was giving off, and spit it back out as a neurotransmitter that made us feel that vibe/emotion.

 

So basically what this comes down to is when you are “cool” ON THE INSIDE, your nonverbals will match your vibe  –> congruence –> others conclude you are “cool.”

 

#Winning

 

In fact Jim Rohn talked about this when discussing how to become wealthy.. He would say, [and I’m paraphrasing here]

 

“If you want to become wealthy, become more valuable to the marketplace.

To become more valuable to to the marketplace, become a more valuable person.

To become more valuable, learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job.”

 

Jim Rohn was a personal development genius.

 

This age-old wisdom rings true for becoming “cool” as well.

Here are 3 quick tips/truths to remember to truly become a cool person:

 

1. Stop placing more weight on things outside of your control.

 

Fonzie was so damn cool because he just seemed to care less than most people.

 

The truth is, you don’t have to stop caring all together, you just have to stop caring about things you have no control over.

 

Why would you?

 

When the sun is shining bright, and the cute barista at Starbucks smiles at you.. COOL.

 

Enjoy it for what it is.

 

But don’t get attached to this ideal because YOU cannot control the weather or the cute barista now, and you definitely won’t be able to in the future.

 

When someone says a mean comment to you, and tries to bring you down a peg.

 

SWEET!

 

Realize that their actions have nothing to do with you, and have everything to do with them.
If someone makes fun of another person, they only do it to make themselves feel higher value relative to the other person.

 

Either way, you have no control over them and how they choose to conduct themselves.

 

2. Get rid of the “Born With It” mentality

 

I’m not talking about that shitty Lady Gaga song that was overplayed on the radio for years..

 

I’m referring to thinking that you’re “not capable of being cool because you were not born with it.”

 

This is like someone always making excuses, and trying to play the victim.

 

Nobody was born cool.

 

We just developed our “cool” personalities, over time, through our habits and reference experiences.

 

So once you realize this, also realize that the only thing holding yourself back from being cool is YOURSELF.

 

Here is another quote from the late-great Jim Rohn,

 

“The major key to your better future is YOU.”

 

To become cool, you must first give yourself the PERMISSION to become the kind of person who is naturally that way.

 

3. The coolest person is the person who is having the most fun.

 

Period.

 

No matter where you go, as long as you are having the most fun you possibly can then you will be “cool.”

 

I first realized this truth from going out and dancing in bars or clubs.

 

Let me first preface this by saying, I am a TERRIBLE dancer.

 

But I don’t try to act like I am a good dancer, and I don’t get all caught up in the fact that I can’t have a good time on a dance floor because I suck at dancing.

 

I simply tell myself that I am going to have fun no matter what.

 

And the second I make this decision something magical happens..

 

Other people feel my vibe, my congruence, and they are magnetically drawn to me.

 

There is not a SINGLE person in this world who can look at someone else who is genuinely having fun and feel negatively towards that person..

 

The only person I can think of who did that was Scrooge, and he is a fictional character.

 

[However, if this person does exist out there, remember it has a lot more to do with their own deep-seeded insecurities, then it does with you. Either way, it is without your control.]

 

Remember how we alluded to those guys out there who try to act cool?

 

This universal truth is what those guys forget.

 

When most people try to act cool they do what I like to call “James Bond game”

 

They put on this facade of being the mysterious, quite type, with the overly strong body language.

 

And even if they were to somehow seem congruent while putting on this fake/not-at-all natural personality, they still wouldn’t seem to be having fun.

 

They would look stern. They would be standing in a corner not talking to anybody. And would only intimidate more people than they magnetically attract.

 

Don’t play “James Bond game,” and start HAVING fun.. Simple as that.

 

And on that note, Imma get out of here.

 

My plan for the day = Put the finishing touches to put on “Project X” –> Read –> gym –> record Youtube vid

–> Coaching session –> Read –> Bed

 

Gonna be an eventful day.

 

Take action brotha, and I’ll see your cool self at the top in no time.

 

Later.

 

– Patrick

 

P.S. Do you know the formula that makes anybody instantly Magnetic?…